Holidays, Holidaze

The holidays are coming.  For those of us who know what that means, it’s time to stock more bottles of wine and liquor in your house, because you are going to be having a lot of guests.

The holidaze usually is a mix of drunkness, laughter, shouting matches, confusion, annoyance, and long-ending marathons of Ancient Aliens.  That being said, my holiday celebrations are the usual that anyone experiences.

A wild spirit is starting to emerge from within me.  I don’t want to be responsible anymore.  For those of you who follow my blog, I just want to let you know I am not pregnant anymore.

That being said, day looks like  night to me, and night looks like day.  Over the course of the last few days, I have become annoyed with how responsible I have been my whole life.   I’ve always tried to keep everything picture perfect.  I have the great job where I help society.  I have the artist husband who I can share my greatest philosophies with.  I have a place to call home.  All that was next after that was children.  And now, I have reached a point in adulthood, when I have to realize that this may not be something that happens for me.

Maybe it will happen, but I just don’t feel like that matters anymore.  I need to be crazy.  I need to break out of my “friday night study habits”.  When I was in college, I stayed at home to work on my homework for Friday night, waiting for my older boyfriend to take a lunch break at his night shift job at a microprocessor plant.  I never went out.  I never explored.  I never experienced?

I guess that’s where I am now. I am ready to start experiencing things.  I think it’s time for me to totally love and embrace the sort of existence I live now.   I used to live my life as though all these feelings and thoughts were fleeting, but I am starting to learn, they go on forever.  All the feelings never die, they just intensify.

Thanks for listening all,

marla

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One thought on “Holidays, Holidaze

  1. Hey, I’m sorry to hear about the pregnancy. Try not to let it get you down too much, it will happen for you another time! In the meantime, it sounds like you are learning to appreciate life more and get more out of it, and it will probably make you a better mom when it does happen, anyway 🙂

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